A serene, picturesque backdrop to an idyllic summer-afternoon
surrounds me as I perceive crystals,
blue, pink, purple.
All possessing unique powers,
revolving around me,
yet I sense mine slipping away as
they bring me into my own space and wonder,
longing for you.
Love, or luster, or lust without the braided ties of marriage…
For an ephemeral moment, I want to feel as if your eyes won’t ever shine for anyone
but me.
I sow the seed of love deep within your heart,
even the shrill of winter’s frost won’t break the calm of our perfect desire.
Let’s intertwine like new lovers.
Incorporeal, without form, we steal minutes, moments, even days.
Your love as fleeting as spring butterflies,
a plant without roots beneath,
only shallow, thin lines like the veins running under the skin
below my ankles.
I plop down into the deepest seas at times,
into my own personal ravine,
lost in the swirling mist of doubts, yet
revitalize your soul.
Planting your feet near me, touch my inner wisdom, vaporize my fright.
Your skin still smooth,
your life seems endless, predictable,
but mine is nearing the edge
where seagulls fly on wings of tomorrow
which may never arrive.
Revolving around my tired thoughts are your endless questions—
What if we’ve met at another time?
In another life where there were no limits?
Nothing to be ashamed of?
Or afraid?
Just love, or lust, living today
until we hear and breathe in the sound of peace
not from within, but inside
the twisting of our ears
in a tone that soothes and cradles our minds.
Love me!
I would shout,
but how you see me is
not like I am.
My outer beauty has been vanishing, and you can’t see within.
Only God,
the One Mind.
He’ll see me through the grief of letting go
of dreams
of togetherness
and the wishes of feeling like a woman who’s wanted and cherished—
There are others,
there’s you,
there is me—
I’ll choose, and then you won’t have to.
I will leave, so you could stay without me.
But remember,
my heart is yours, and my mind was filled with the promises of tomorrows by your side,
and I lived for them.
First Published by Unlimited Literature, a Literary Magazine, January 2020.
Cassandra Crossing immigrated from Hungary and now resides in the Chicagoland area. Poetry and writing have been her life-long dream. She writes from personal experience about love, despair, loss, and hope. Her work includes short stories, creative non-fiction essays, flash fiction, plays, and poetry. She’s also working on a few novels and novellas.
Her creative nonfiction essay "Naked" won 2nd place in April 2020 in a WOW! Women on Writing contest and was published online.
"Why Are You Here?" won Runner Up status and was published online in 2019, while "Sorrow" (2019) and her flash fiction “Allure” (2017) were finalists at contests by WOW! Women on Writing. An interview was published by them on January 5th, 2020.
Cassandra’s creative nonfiction essay “Things That Matter”, her fiction “Parenting Advice” and plays “The Chair” and “Three Tickets for the Show” had been selected by Oakton Community College as finalists to represent them in the annual Skyway Competitions in recent years.
You can find some of Cassandra’s work on her website: ccrossing888.wixsite.com/cassandra and on Patron: www.patreon.com/CassandraCrossing.
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